Breakfast in the Evening, Breakfast in the Morning

The last 48 hours have been a blur. I guess my staff partner and I decided we wanted to be able to empathize with our final-exam-laden, stress-filled students when we planned the end of the semester. I feel a bit like we've arrived on the other end of a marathon that ended in a sprint to the finish. It's been a busy semester and, as our students hit the books extra hard this week, Esther and I can finally take a second to breathe (and update a blog!).

To get you up to speed, November ended on a high note here at SLU. Our month of investigative Bible studies (or GIGs) saw eight of our student leaders (around half of the core group) stepping forward to invite their friends to study Scripture with them, many for the first time. We are so proud of our students and the way that Jesus is calling them to take initiative on campus! All eight of these students are freshmen and sophomores which means that they have plenty of time left in college to be shaped by the Holy Spirit before heading out into the "real" world. It has been wonderful to watch our younger students step forward to lead the upperclassmen into mission on campus. How often the Kingdom turns our expectations and understandings of power and ability upside-down!

Now, on to the past few days. Last night was our annual Christmas party - Bacon 'n' Waffles 2009. As legend has it, the first InterVarsity leadership team at SLU was made up predominantly of men. When asked what they would like to eat at a Christmas party, these manly men responded "Bacon and waffles." And so it has been since before my time at SLU. The tradition continued this year as around 25 SLU students packed into my supervisor's house to eat dozens of waffles, seven pounds of bacon, and a myriad of toppings and side items. We saw familiar faces from years back and even from earlier this semester. We further developed relationships with newer students. We met a few folks for the first time. My students have become so invitational this semester and I am consistently blown away by how many new people I meet on a regular basis. They are so excited to see their friends meet Jesus and experience our quirky little community. I love it.

After the madness of last night and the subsequent clean-up efforts, I awoke this morning (barely) and headed to a brunch (yes, more breakfast food) that I co-hosted with one of SLU's Campus Ministry staff for students interested in Fraternity and Sorority ministry. Reaching out to the Greek organizations on our campus has been a growing seed in the back of my mind for nearly a year now. I was at a staff conference in December of last year when I first felt God compelling me to begin praying for the Greek community at SLU. I quickly texted one of my students who is in a fraternity to ask him to join me in prayer. A few months later, I gathered the students I have who are also in the Greek system and we began to talk and pray about what reaching out to the fraternities and sororities might look like on our campus. Another month went by and the Campus Ministry staff in charge of the Greek dormitory at SLU contacted me to talk about putting together a potential Greek Bible Study. As these opportunities to think and pray about this idea have continued to pour into my life, I have realized that God is calling me to further investigate Greek ministry. So, this morning, the Greek Campus Minister and I hosted a brunch for students in the Greek system that might also be interested in a similar ministry opportunity. Ten of us sat around a pile of muffins and I listened as they told me their stories of life in the system. I heard about their frustrations, their joys, and their hopes for a spiritual awakening in the fraternities and sororities at SLU. And I got excited. God is on the move here, people, and I think it could be really big. Keep reading next semester.

So the semester draws near to the end and our students get ready to head home for Christmas break. It's been a rollercoaster ride and I am so thankful to have you along the way with me. Blessings on you and yours this Advent season - may we all await His coming again resting in the grace and peace that His first coming affords.

Happy Thanks-GIG-ing!

Here in Saint Louis, where the temperatures in the past week have yet to fall below highs in the 60s with plenty of beautiful sunshine, there was some question as to whether or not November would ever actually arrive. However, as I write to you today, the skies have darkened with rain and this coffeeshop is filled with students in sweatshirts. Starbucks is pushing their red-cupped peppermint mochas. Target is aglow with tinsel and holiday music echoes through the aisles. The word "finals" is starting to float around campus, simultaneously encouraging and unnerving SLU students. All signs indicate: winter is officially on its way.

But, November didn't usher in just white chocolate and angst-ridden college kids; it also welcomed me back on campus at SLU! Thanks to your prayers and generosity, I am officially working on campus with students for 16 hours each week (Confused? Read this blog entry). Praise God for His great provision through the gifts of His people! While I'm very grateful for the 16 hours I get to spend with my kids each week, I do ask that you continue to pray for my fundraising so that I can bump up my hours on campus each week. At 85%, I get to spend 28 hours with them. At 100%, it will move to 32 hours on campus each week. I can't wait!

One of the reasons I was so anxious to get back on campus by November 1st was that my staff partner and I had consciously set aside November for a special evangelistic push way back in August when we were planning out the year. We pur our heads together and christened it "Thanks-GIG-ing Month" (clever, I know). In case you are unaware, a GIG (Group Investigating God) is how InterVarsity designates an evangelistic Bible study aimed at allowing people to encounter Jesus in Scripture for the first time while being guided by someone who is already following him. There is this fantastic story in the book of Acts where a guy named Philip meets an Ethiopian eunuch who is studying the book of Isaiah but having trouble understanding it (see picture above). Philip begins telling him the story of Jesus and how he has fulfilled the prophecies of Isaiah and the other prophets in coming to earth, dying for the sins of the world, and then being resurrected for our salvation. The man ends up giving his life to Jesus and Philip baptizes him before being whisked away by God. This is essentially what we were hoping our student leaders would do: find some friends who were interested in figuring out Jesus in community and then facilitate that in a GIG. So, Esther and I highlighted November on our calendars and prayed...

We started introducing the idea a little bit at a time back in September and October. We encouraged our students to begin talking about spiritual ideas with their friends. We took them to have evangelistic conversations with other folks in the student center. We went for prayer walks around campus. They seemed excited about reaching out to their friends but we had no idea whether or not they would actually respond to inviting their friends (or even acquaintances) into these potentially intense relational situations. On the last day of October, we held a GIG-training session and eight students (around half of our core group) showed up. Esther and I were blown away as they excitedly absorbed the information and proceeded to make phone calls a list of friends they were wanting to invite to study Jesus together. By the end of the morning, their nerves were shot but a few of them managed to set up times to meet with some of their friends. A week later, one girl had five students lined up to meet on Friday afternoons. One of our guys had arranged two separate GIGs to lead. Flash forward to halfway through November and ten of our core group members are currently leading GIGs. That means that somewhere around twenty SLU students are checking out Jesus for the first time on any given week this month. Praise God! Check back here in December to read whatever incredible stories He brings from this month. We're so proud of our courageous and faithful student leaders!

A Confession: Some Incredible News

I'm sitting in the coffeeshop I used to work at enjoying the sugar cookie of my life. Honestly, if you live in Saint Louis, venture down here sometime and get a Caramel Apple Cider with a sugar cookie on a beautiful sunny day and experience the magic for yourself. That being said, I want to begin this entry by thanking you for your prayers over the past few weeks. God has been so abundantly faithful to me in the month of October and I see your prayers as the catalyst to so many wonderful happenings over the last little while. Thanks for your love of me and of the ministry of InterVarsity at SLU. It is an honor for me to call you a friend and to have you sacrificing those two great Western idols - time and money - all for the sake of supporting a young, inexperienced missionary with a heart for sharing Jesus with college kids in Saint Louis. I thank my God every time I remember you.

I'm saving the story of Fall Conference for my prayer email update, which you will receive this week as well. But I have to confess to you a piece of incredible news that I have known for a month or so but wanted to wait to surprise you with it. When last I wrote you, I was at 50% and begging for your prayers to make it to 55% by last Thursday to increase my stipend and feel secure after quitting my job at the coffeeshop to focus on fundraising full-time. What I did not tell you at the time was that I was also in a race to raise $5000 as quickly as possible. Why this specific amount of money, you may ask? In mid-September, the Missouri state-level leadership of InterVarsity decided to use a part of some surplus money raised by my staff partner to give me a matching grant of up to $5000 (10% of my total budget) to help me get back to campus as soon as possible. What does that mean practically? In mid-September, I was at 45%. This incentive was all I needed to put my nose to the grindstone and try to meet the challenge of raising $5000 in one month. Last week, I hit my target, which put me at 55%. InterVarsity came through and matched me with a $5000 grant. That means that in one month, God answered your prayers by taking the money I raised and doubling it putting me at 65% as of this writing. Isn't that amazing? Because of your prayers, I am now within 5% ($2500) of being back on campus. God is so faithful!

I cannot even tell you how often I have wanted to email you and tell you the great news along the way. But, I decided I would wait and surprise you with this unexpected blessing after the goal was reached. I hope this confirms in your heart (and mine) how important and powerful prayer really is. I feel a bit like the disciples in the midst of collecting the baskets of fish sandwiches left over after Jesus fed the five thousand with only a little boy's lunch in hand. God truly does take whatever small things we offer to Him and multiply them to overflowing abundance. May we only learn to trust Him.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." - John 14:12-14

Mile Marker One

It's been about a month since I've updated you on ministry-related news and thoughts (though I hope some of you picked up a copy of Andrew Peterson's fantastic North! Or Be Eaten after reading my previous post). I do have a bit of news and several prayer requests to share with you.

First, today was my last day working at the coffeeshop. As you may or may not know, I have been working at a wonderful coffeeshop for nearly a year now. The job was one of those obvious oases in the midst of a lot of desert wandering and transition that took place in my life as I got used to being out of school, fundraising here and there, and beginning work in a ministry that (like all ministries) can be quite emotionally draining. The staff and working environment were encouraging and fun at a time when I needed them to be. At the same time, though I loved my job, it has proven quite an able distraction from the fundraising and ministry to which God has called me. As this school year got started, I could sense that the time was coming to transition out of the coffeeshop and into surrendering to a life of full-time fundraising so that I can get back to campus as soon as possible. This realization came with the equally strong arrival of bills and other financial constraints that also needed to be satisfied. My supervisor and I met and determined that if I could get to 55% of my budget, I could live reasonably from my InterVarsity stipend alone and be free to quit my second job. As of today, I am within 5% of that goal. In faith, I have quit the coffeeshop praying that God will move in the midst of my risk to provide the remaining 5% before October 15th so that my stipend can be increased by the end of the month and I can feel the freedom to breathe easier as I continue following Jesus in fundraising and campus ministry. Will you pray with me that God will meet me here and blow all of us away with His grace and generosity in providing for and through His people?

I have a few other prayer requests for you to consider as you lift up both me personally and the ministry of IV at SLU.

• This weekend is our annual Fall Conference. Praise God - SLU is taking 21 students! This is the most students we have ever taken to an event! Please pray that those among our students who don't know Jesus would meet him this weekend! Pray that all of the 130+ students from across Missouri in attendance would feel the call to follow Jesus in mission on campus. Pray for me and the rest of the worship team as we attempt to usher our fellow worshipers into the very throne room of God.
• Though I have reached a significant barrier in fundraising, there is still a ways to go. Please pray for the next 20% necessary for me to get back on campus would come quickly. I have set a personal goal of arriving there by November 1st. Will you join me in praying toward that goal?

I will be sure to update you as we move into Fall Conference this weekend. I'll be leading the worship team and am excited to see how God moves in the hearts of students. I wish I could transmit my excitement and heart for my students to you through this blog. Keep us your hearts as we seek the Lord this weekend.

Book Review: North! Or Be Eaten

Though this site is generally used as a blog for my ministry with InterVarsity, I thought I'd pause and insert a review of a wonderful book that I just finished. Knowing that many of you that support me have young kids or are just lovers of great storytelling, it seemed like you might benefit from a little exposure to a wonderful (though perhaps lesser known) storyteller by the name of Andrew Peterson.

For a few years now, Andrew has been my favorite singer-songwriter (he is a man of many talents). His records shine with the marriage of eloquent, profound lyrical ability and beautiful melodies that seem to destine a musician far from the radar of CCM and pop music. As one of the songs on his new record, Resurrection Letters Volume II, suggests, Andrew's music has provided a "window in the world" through which I have seen the Kingdom coming in the simple beauties that fall on our senses everyday. Last year, Andrew released a children's book entitled On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness. Being a fan of his songwriting and artistry, I wanted to support him in this new endeavor so I picked up a copy. After flying through the book in a few days' time, I turned the final page with a smile on my face. Andrew had drawn me into a world filled with strange creatures, far-off (though familiar) lands, and a heroic family that ached of that broken beauty that sits in the hearts of any of us who walk the earth in Hope of things to come. I knew that I would certainly be purchasing the second book in the series as soon as it hit the shelves.

Today, I finished the second book, North! Or Be Eaten. This time I did it with tears in my eyes.

The story has many facets that are worthy of praise and second readings. I want to highlight two for you. First, this is a story of broken people. Andrew captures an element of darkness, mystery, and tension that is at the essence of how we experience this life. Yet, so often it goes unnoticed or unspoken of in media and culture. Old and bitter family secrets abound; betrayal lurks around every corner; jealousy threatens to tear brothers apart. Redemption comes with a price and Andrew has engaged the ransom in a way that is bold in all realms of literature, let alone a children's story. Secondly, Andrew has captured what it means to be a boy better than any author I have ever read. I don't mean that as a light compliment paid to a songwriting hero of mine. I mean that as an English major with a decent familiarity with more than a few types of literature. The interactions between the brothers (Janner and Tink) in the story and the reactions and inner monologues of Janner, Andrew's major protagonist, struck me as exactly what it feels like to be a twelve-year-old boy. His insight into this mindset is uncanny and, in my opinion, unmatched. This element may be Andrew's greatest accomplishment in North! Or Be Eaten. It may sound like a small side detail, but it drew me in like I haven't been in some time.

If you have kids, or if you ever were a kid, you should make your way to your local bookstore and pick up a copy. Trust me, you will not regret it. Kudos, Andrew. This is a story that will be appreciated for generations to come.

We Knew It Was Coming

Yesterday was my first official day "off-campus." In case you are not too familiar with how the fundraising process works in InterVarsity, each staff worker is personally responsible for raising a ministry budget and salary. We gauge how far along we have come in the fundraising process in terms of the percentage of our total budget we have raised through one-time gifts and pledges. When I say I am at 41%, that means that if were June 30 (the last day of our fiscal year), I would have raised 41% of my total budget for the year. InterVarsity realizes how difficult the fundraising process is, especially for a full-time position, and therefore, in order for their staff to not become burned out in the long-term between campus ministry and fundraising full-time, they require that a staff worker be at 70% of their total budget before they engage in campus ministry. This ensures that people can do this job for a lifetime and not just collapse after a year. Staff are allowed to be involved with programming during the first two weeks of school in order to get the ball rolling, but must step away from direct involvement quickly thereafter if funds are not yet to the 70% mark. I am currently at 41% and so, though I am certainly making progress, there is still a ways to go. The first two weeks of school are past and now I will begin the process of full-time fundraising.

Technical details aside, even these first few days in have been a difficult transition. Our core group of leaders (The Edge) met last night for the first time and I was not able to be in attendance. My staff partner (Esther) handled things beautifully and we had eighteen students show up and commit to living a life of mission on campus! I was thrilled to hear the stories of the evening but being away from something I am so passionate about was incredibly difficult. I completely trust my staff partner and we have been blessed with more capable, visionary leaders than we have ever had but still, I long to be on the frontlines with them. I feel the tug on my heart for the student groups for which God has softened my heart. I seem to be standing on the sidelines; as encouraging and uplifting as coaching can be, I long to be in the game. But, I trust my supervisors and I know that God wouldn't have led me to a support-raising ministry unless He intended me to spend time raising support. Patience is the lesson and it is a bitter pill to swallow at times, but I know it will cure what ails me. I trust that God knows where we are going even when we can't see beyond these hills we tread.

Please continue praying for me as I work hard to get back to campus as soon as possible. Pray for the Edge as these eighteen students look to grow their group and take the Gospel to the far corners of campus. Pray for unity of vision and the movement of the Spirit in leading these students to the groups on campus to which Jesus would send them. Pray for strength, vision, and rest for my staff partner Esther as she does much of the leading and training of SLU InterVarsity for the time being. Pray for revival at SLU - we want to see the Kingdom come this year! Thanks for supporting us.

I Had to Tell You...

I'm sitting in the coffeeshop that I also work in part-time while I continue raising support for my ministry with InterVarsity. I have been here for about twelve hours now. I came in at 5:30am this morning to open the coffeeshop and have stayed since 1:30pm to meet with my InterVarsity supervisor and work on a few loose details. One of those details was writing this blog. You see, faithful reader, the past two weeks have been some of the busiest I have known and so much has happened that it can be hard to summarize in such a seemingly self-indulgent package, like an internet journal. For the last ten days or so, our IV leaders have been involved in what we call "NSO" or New Student Outreach (we love acronyms in InterVarsity!). Though activities were many (too many to be honest), I wanted to highlight a few that bear repeating.

Last Tuesday night, the umbrella organization at SLU that InterVarsity and other similar national organizations and churches are affilliated with, Campus Ministry, held an open house and worship festival to give students an idea of the spiritual landscape around them at SLU. Several IV leaders showed up to meet new freshmen and participate in the worship festival, which included a few local worship bands playing some songs and lifting up praise to God at a very well-traveled location on campus. After the root beer float social, we invited our new friends back to one of the leaders' apartments for a game night and a few hours of hanging out. I was blown away (and continue to be blown away) by the amount of participation and "buy-in" that my leaders have in the mission of reaching students on campus this year. Though it shouldn't be, it is sometimes a strange sight to see seniors and freshmen interacting like they've known each other for years. It reminds me of that great passsage in Philippians 2 where Paul talks about Jesus "emptying himself" into humanity in order to become like us. In a way, that's what InterVarsity is all about, and moreover, what being an engaged member of the Kingdom is all about. We empty ourselves into those around us in order to bring them to the feet of the King. We pour out in order to pull up. It is a beautiful sight.

As incredible as it was to share this intimate evening in an upperclassmen's apartment with a few new freshmen, last night's event proved an even greater outpouring of God's grace to my staff partner and I. All week we had been building toward the first Gathering of the year. The Gathering is SLU InterVarsity's large group gathering on campus. We only have a few of them each year and mostly use them to build relationships on a larger scale with people along the fringes of belonging to InterVarsity. We met nearly one hundred freshmen in just a few days time on campus and passed out flyers all over campus concerning this one event where they could come and figure out what exactly InterVarsity is and what we believe God calling us to be on campus. The wild thing about college ministry, however, is that you just never know what might be happening any night of the week and you can never know if you'll have 5 or 50 people come to an event. So, we prayed and planned and hoped for the best. Ten of our leaders showed up an hour ahead of time to prepare the room, pray together, and be reminded of why even setting up chairs and making nametags can be a holy sacrifice, an aroma fragrant and pleasing to the Lord. We set up the room and then we waited.

Eight pm arrived and brought with it nearly 40 students that we barely (emphasize barely) fit into a tiny meeting room in the Campus Ministry building. I watched with a melting heart as our ten leaders welcomed and engaged students they had never met. We played games, we laughed, we worshiped, we built relationships, we listened as my staff partner (Esther) brought the Word in a way that was vulnerable and piercing and transformative. We became a family for a couple of hours on a Monday night. I saw the Spirit move in the hearts of freshmen and transfer students as around ten new students stood to acknowledge the call of Christ on their life and commit to following him into mission this year on campus. I saw seniors drinking juice boxes and eating cookies with brand new freshmen. I saw Black students and Asian students and White students and Latino students blending into that borderless-yet-colorful mosaic of the Kingdom that we desperately pray to take root at SLU. For a couple of hours on a Monday night. But I had to tell you about it. I had to tell you the Kingdom is coming. It comes. It came for a couple of hours on a Monday night.

Where do we go from here? No idea. But we will continue to follow that same Spirit that fell like flames on the heads of a small gathering of Jewish peasants a couple thousand years ago. We will continue to listen like they did and love like they did and pray for that Spirit to move like he did and does and will do until we all go home. Stay tuned - there is more to come. More and more, forever more to come.

Pre-Fall Wrap-Up

I never cease to be amazed by the fact that the longer it takes to plan events, the quicker those events tend to fly by. My staff partner, Esther, and I spent weeks planning our Pre-Fall Retreat and it is now officially over. The students headed back around 1pm this afternoon and, after cleaning up the church where we stayed, I promptly crashed on a couch at my parents' house here in rainy Marion, IL. I'll give you a brief overview of how these last few days have been (including some pictures):

Tuesday
Esther and I, along with our supervisor, Tammy, arrived early at Third Baptist to put together last minute details and pray for our students as they traveled. The retreat is geared to prepare our leadership team (The Edge) for the upcoming two weeks of New Student Outreach, where we will meet dozens of new freshmen and transfer students to love and serve as they step on to campus for the first time. It is also a great time to reconnect and process our summers together. Tuesday had a little bit of both as we spent time sharing stories, studying Scripture together, and casting vision for the new year. Esther and I shared the vision that we felt God had laid on our hearts for the campus at SLU in our desire that every student and faculty member know that they are "loved by God and sent with purpose" to take that love to a broken world. We ate at one of my favorite Marion restaurants (Tequila's) and concluded the evening with a tour of some Marion highlights, including the high school, the house I grew up in, and the country's fourth-largest Wal-Mart. We had a blast and it was so refreshing to see our core group so motivated by reaching out to their friends on campus with the Gospel of Jesus.

Wednesday
On Wednesday morning, Patty Mitchell, our guest devotional leader, took us through Isaiah 6, inspiring us to embrace the path along which God sends us and to listen closely to hear His voice as we go. This was quite timely as we were preparing to head to Southern Illinois University at Carbondale that afternoon to share the Gospel with students that we met on campus. Our team of 8 split into pairs and ended up sharing Jesus with about 10 SIU-C students. My partner, Robert, and I met several interesting people, including an Indian grad student who, though he was raised Hindu, expressed interest in learning more about Christianity and who Jesus is. We had a great conversation with him and passed his information on to the IV Staff at SIU. Who knows what amazing things might happen at SIU this year simply because 8 college students and staff were willing to give up an hour to share the Gospel on campus? God is so good! We arrived back (much later than expected) to find an incredible spread of food cooked up for us by Quetta Karcher, another amazing woman of God. After a pretty intense morning and afternoon, this was well met and quite refreshing. We concluded our day by planning some of our New Student Outreach and attending the Pastor's Wednesday night Bible Study. A great day overall.

Thursday
On our last morning of Pre-Fall Retreat, we began with a devotional led by Rob Jones, youth minster at TBC. He took us back through John 4 and reminded us of our call to go beyond stereotypes in reaching every corner of campus. I was inspired and I know the students were as well. We concluded our time together by finishing up some logistics and spending time in prayer for the upcoming year. All in all, we had a great time at Pre-Fall Retreat. Several incredible stories from Wednesday afternoon (write me for more if you are interested!) and a few incredible meals shared along with a fantastic opportunity to reconnect with each other under the umbrella of the wonderful hospitality shown to us by the members and staff of Third Baptist. Thanks to everyone who was involved and has helped us along the way. We are gearing up for New Student Outreach tomorrow and we desperately need your prayers. I will update as I can.

IV Leaders @ Tequila's in Marion, IL

Pre-Fall Retreat 2009

Today I'm working at Latta Java in my hometown of Marion, IL. It's a day of logistics and last minute details as it is now 25 hours until students from SLU arrive here for our annual Pre-Fall Retreat. We will spend Tuesday through Thursday processing our summers together, planning for the year of ministry, and praying after the heart of God as we seek to be His hands and feet on campus at SLU. I am excited to share this piece of my history and relationships with my students. Marion has been a kind of refuge for me in my years in college and the idea of being "home" is one of the most powerful metaphors through which God speaks to me, as evidenced by the title of this ministry blog. In just over a day from now, this place of rest will offer its hospitality to students from a variety of backgrounds and ways of life; students who may have had wonderful summers and be in places of great peace and joy, as well as students who may have had terrible summers of hopes disappointed and family strife. The tragic beauty of being in ministry with other human beings is that we all bring to the table what we have to offer, as beautiful or broken (usually both) as it may be.

Please pray for us this week. Pray that Esther and I maintain a level of enthusiasm and a countenance of servant leadership as we seek to bless our students and motivate them toward the vision God has given us for SLU. Pray for both a spirit of rest and a spirit of excitement as our students come from their summers and prepare for the coming year. Pray for the members and staff of Third Baptist as the interact with my students and staff partner for the first time. May this only be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship of love and hospitality. As always, thanks for reading and for your love and support of me and of the ministry of IV at SLU. I will keep you posted as I can throughout the week.

The Strive For Fifty-Five

As promised, I am utilizing this blog to not only keep you, the proverbial (and possibly actual) reader, up to speed on ministry needs and breakthroughs being experienced by my students and I, but also to keep you up to speed with my progress along the fundraising journey. This specific post is siginificant along the way because I have been given a marker at which to focus my prayers and efforts and so, I wanted to share that with you as well.

One of the key differences between my job last year as a ministry intern and the transition I'm making into a full-time staff position is that I will no longer (ideally) have a part-time job to supplement my living expenses. As Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 9, "Don't you know that those who work in the temple get their food from the temple, and those who serve at the altar share in what is offered on the altar? In the same way, the Lord has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel." However, in this transition time my part-time job is necessary until I reach the point in my budget that I can live and do ministry from the support that is coming in. Herein lies the issue with which I wrestle as I write this: my part-time job at a coffeeshop at SLU is both a great blessing, as I depend on it for supplemental income while I fundraise outside those hours; and a great curse as it takes up about 30 hours of the week that I could spend elsewhere gathering support and planning for the school year. I love and need the job, but it is a distraction from the work that God has actually called me to do.

I have recently been informed that the amount of a stipend I would need to live without a second job could be given if I reach 55% of my budget, including pledges and one-time gifts. I am currently at 37%. I am praying (and inviting you to pray!) that God, in His abundant provision, would meet me at 55% before school starts on August 24th. This would allow me to focus all of my attention and energy on finishing the fundraising process for the year so I can begin working on campus and spending my time introducing students to Jesus. Would you join me in this prayer? He has given my staff partner and I a wonderful vision for the IV chapter at SLU in 2009-2010 and I want to dive into it as soon as possible.

If you are interested in chatting about some creative ways that you can help me, please e-mail me at kaleuzzle@gmail.com and we can figure out a time to talk. As always, thanks for reading but thank you more for your prayers!

On Fund-Raising in the Upside-Down Kingdom

Since my time in June at Orientation for New Staff up in Wisconsin, I have spent most of my time in the process of fund-raising my budget for the year to come. Fund-raising, as I am learning, is a spiritual discipline not much different than prayer or evangelism. I can think of a thousand excuses everyday not to do them but I know that if I just looked at Jesus, I would remember how crucial they are to my survival and continued pursuit of him (and his of me!). What makes them so hard is that they call me out of myself and hold up this mirror in my face that shows me the crucial question: Who is God? Who do you say that he is? It's the same question that Moses asked God and that Jesus asked the disciples. When the chips fall and everything I prop up is blown to pieces, this is the question that haunts me - "Kale, who do you say that I am?" I am so tempted to run and hide and just assume that I am God or that security or money or understanding is God. This question seems so basic but it is at the core of every sin and the fruit of every doubt. When I get scared or intimidated or feel awkward, it's much easier to believe that I am God and therefore, I should just be able to calm the storms or free the captives.

But it is just at these points when I have dumped all the water out of the boat but we're still sinking; when I have pleaded my case to every Pharaoh around but find myself still a prisoner; when I have tried everything and nothing has come of it, these are the times when I remember who God is. When it becomes abundantly clear to me that I am not God. At their endpoints, clarity and humility seem to be sisters. But this should not strike me as strange, I suppose. Isn't this what Jesus is always telling the disciples in the Gospels? When they couldn't cast out a demon or when they fought about who was really the greatest disciple among them, was it not Jesus who put the child in front of them and reminded them that it was people like this who were really following him? Just like them, it seems that my instincts are to prove that I am the one in charge or that I know what is best for me. Naturally, just like in their experience, when everything falls apart, I hear Jesus saying to me, "Kale, who am I? Do you remember who I am?" Again, I have to stop and answer him, "Yes Lord, now I see it again."

This world is upside-down and it would have me believe myself independent and self-sufficient. But wow, how far the fall that comes with the realization of this lie. As John the Baptist taught us, we must decrease as he increases. Everyday we have to surrender who we are and what we want to who Jesus is and what he wants. Even in something as hard and slow as fundraising. Especially in something like fund-raising. Or prayer. Or evangelism. Or just following Jesus in general. This is what it means to be a Christian I am learning. If I can't answer the question, "Who is God?" than I know where I stand in my relationship to the true God. I need to have my vision turned around. I need to have my heart turned right-side-up again. This always hurts but it always comes when I need it most.

Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he slammed the door on his compassion?
And I said, “This is my fate;
the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
Psalm 77:9-11

ONS - Day Eight

Today is the last full day of InterVarsity's Orientation for New Staff here in cloudy Madison, WI. It's been an exciting but very draining trip for me. I love talking about vision and hearing stories from other staff workers about their hearts for ministry and how they are seeing God work on their campuses. I love hearing about the desire of our president to see diverse witnessing communities built up around college campuses all over the world. I have enjoyed my time with my family group, the six or seven other new staff and our leader with whom we have been processing our experiences so far at ONS. I love Madison, especially the area around the University. There are more unique ethnic restaurants, indie coffee shops, and people on bicycles per capita in this area than anywhere I have ever been. But, to be honest, I am exhausted.

God has been revealing a lot to me in these past eight days about the condition of my heart and the condition of our fellowship at SLU. I am beginning to see my need for the approval of others and my desire to earn God's favor in their true and hideous form. I have come to grips with the fact that my chapter at SLU is predominantly white and very comfortable with that fact, despite the hundreds of minority American and international students on my campus. I have noticed my own tendencies toward comfort and familiarity, especially in the areas of evangelism and fund development. But, in the midst of that, I feel the dam breaking. God is not satisfied to leave me here. He loves me too much to let me stay where I am. He is slowly breaking down the years of hope deferred, prejudices applied, and meritocracy reinforced to make me into the man that He has called me to be. It is a painfully slow process, but as I looked in the eyes of my new friend Nathaniel yesterday, I saw his hope that maybe Jesus can really change our lives. It reminded me that this is all true - that we speak the Truth into the world - that He lives in our hearts and in our conversations. Jesus is alive and He is calling us to the life abundant. Sometimes it looks like crucifixion, but it always ends in Resurrection.

I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
John 12:24

ONS - Day Five

The past couple days have been pretty eventful. On Thursday night, all of the new staff gathered at the IV National Service Center to make some fundraising phone calls in partners. Fundraising as a community is a refreshing change of pace for my summer. The process itself is fairly taxing and being surrounded by 90 or so folks who are also engaged in it brings a sense of peace and motivation to an evening of phone calls. On Friday, we went back to the NSC for a tour and got to meet some of the people of whose names I only know from mass e-mails and promotional material. InterVarsity is an incredible organization and it is hard to believe how much actually happens in the moderately-sized building that serves as its headquarters. From cutting-edge graphic design and multimedia productions to long-term partnerships with missionaries from across the globe, IV spans a broad spectrum of means and methods in its devotion to building the Kingdom on college campuses. It was fascinating to be able to tour the premises and become a bit more familiar with the faces behind the names that keep me on track in fundraising and training.

Today is our Sabbath day. I went to a Farmer's Market this morning that was incredibly large and have rounded off the afternoon with a C.S. Lewis biography and some much-needed coffee. Tonight I will meet again with my family group and then plunge back into the training tomorrow. I pray that I never forget what a blessing and opportunity it is to love your job. It is such a simple pleasure but I fear it is denied to so many of my friends and fellow college graduates. To live and work and play among friends who share your joys, passions, defeats, and triumphs is a rare and beautiful gift. Thank you Jesus.

ONS - Day Three

Back at Michelangelo's Coffee Shop here in downtown Madison taking some much needed and appreciated introverted time in the midst of a full day of fundraising training. The first few days have mostly been made up of informational sessions regarding the fundraising process. Though I have been through a lot of it before, it is amazing how helpful a thorough reminder can be every once in a while. Fundraising is one of those great disciplines that can never be truly mastered or its methods exhausted. It is in a constant state of evolution as communicational trends continue to become increasingly digitalized (i.e. Facebook, Twitter). I have been inspired by incredible stories from other staff workers who have shared about their experiences of God's faithfulness to provide and the work He is doing both in their own lives and in the lives of their donors. It is so good to hear again and again that fundraising is first and foremost a form of ministry. It is not a necessary evil but an opportunity for blessing. It is a privilege to be able to invite someone into sharing the vision that God has given us for SLU and our students there. I am blessed with the chance to get up everyday and speak truth into people's lives about the needs of a college campus and invite them to live out the Gospel through investing in the work of Kingdom-building at SLU. In our financial turmoil, investing in the Kingdom is the one investment that can never fail or run dry. It is a humbling honor to be entrusted with these gifts and an even greater honor to be entrusted with the Truth and sent to deliver it to the courts of Ninevah or the streets of Babylon or the student center of Saint Louis University. This honor is bestowed upon all of God's children and, whether we tread the vocational mission field or support those who do (or both), we walk in the shadows of the saints and martyrs of old. We are the hands and feet of Christ in the 21st Century. He would have it no other way.

ONS - Day One

Every June, several of us (relatively) new folk in InterVarsity gather in Madison, WI, near the headquarters of InterVarsity, for 10 days of training in fund development and chapter building. The event is called Orientation for New Staff and I am currently on break from the first full day. I type to you, faithful blog reader, from the charming Michelangelo's Coffee Shop located on State Street in downtown Madison. This place has certainly broken into my top 5 all-time coffeeshop list - quiet but soulful music, plenty of space for both isolation and community, and of course, great coffee. So far, I am pretty impressed by Madison - this downtown area is packed full of outdoor and indoor activities, fantastic ethnic restaurants, and some of the cleanest streets I have seen in a while.

One of the secondary (though some might consider it primary) benefits of this conference, aside from the wonderful training that InterVarsity consistently provides, is the foundational community that is being built here. No matter what line of work you are in, it is always hard to be a lone soldier. In ministry, it is fairly common for folks to feel overwhelmed by the weight of their ministerial world and lose sight of community, accountability, and vulnerability in the name of dependability, responsibility, and pride. At ONS, thus far, I have found a large gathering of like-minded (though interestingly diverse) 20-30-40-somethings who have a genuine heart to see the Kingdom meet the Campus and are just dying to find other people to share that with on a peer-to-peer level. We've had a great time so far and I am so thankful to be able to be here with such devoted and enthusiastic co-laborers. Please pray for us as we continue to live and work as a community, developing much-needed fundraising skills and experience, and learning how to build our chapters into true pictures of the Kingdom in our midst.

The New Southern Baptists

I grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination. Stereotypes abound but I have only personally experienced the adversity to dancing and alcohol in my home church; these only from older leadership, not necessarily the members themselves. On Monday I was privileged to meet with the Director of Missions of the Metro-East Baptist Association at their office near Saint Louis. The Southern Baptist Conference is broken into state associations and then further into area associations. The job of a DOM, as I understand it, is to oversee the churches (perhaps 30-40 in this case) in their area association. I had originally scheduled this meeting to introduce him to the work that InterVarsity is doing at SLU and to see if he might know of local churches that would be interested in supporting our work. We had a good time talking and sharing stories and he invited me to join him the next day for a roundtable discussion of college ministry and Next Generation (NextGen) church planting. Though I had no extra clothes with me, I complied.

As I arrived at the office the next day, dressed in literally the exact same clothes, I was introduced to several church planters, college ministers, and pastors from around the state and especially the Southern/Central Illinois area. We began to discuss issues ranging from college culture to evangelism to church membership. As I sat in the presence of these men and women, I was stunned by their vision and dedication to the Gospel. I don't know what I was expecting but Southern Baptists have long been stereotyped as traditionalists and hyper-conservatives. Yet, here I was sitting among cutting edge church planters with honest hearts dedicated to the exact same thing I am - college students meeting Jesus. I was able to share stories of what God is doing at SLU and how we have seen students respond to the Gospel. But, more than that, I was able to sit under the wisdom of leaders in a denomination that I have often questioned as I have left home and stepped into ministry. Suffice it to say, things are not always as they seem. I left the building on Tuesday afternoon with a greater sense of respect and admiration for my home denomination than ever before and I can honestly say that I am proud to belong to the Illinois Southern Baptists. May God continue to bless us with many meetings and time to share stories of His Great Work among us. I am honored to serve alongside you as the Kingdom meets the Campus.

How 6am Coffee Turned Into 1pm Thai Food

Yesterday I, along with my folks, were up at 5am and in the car by 6 to head to Columbia, IL where I was scheduled to preach at Bethany United Methodist Church. My friend Justin Aymer is the youth/music minister there and had brought my name up during a staff meeting a few months back as a possible missionary for the church to support. Praise God for friends like Justin. Who knows what interesting connections He might bring our way when we jump out of the boat? Another praise must be given for the congregation that meets at Bethany. It was probably the warmest and most hospitable group of church-goers that I have ever been around. Every person who made eye-contact with either myself or my family approached and shook our hands and welcomed us with open arms. Hospitality is a virtue that seems often lost on those of us in the Western Church but I was proud to find a church that has embodied it so fully. After the morning service, the pastor and a few other leaders in the church took me out for some amazing Thai food. There may not be a better way to spend a Sunday than with God's people in a Thai restaurant sharing stories of God's work in our lives. Thank you Bethany friends for your support of InterVarsity and your love for my family and I!

Today is a phone call day. I have spent my morning in Scripture and on the phone with some directors of mission around the Saint Louis area. This afternoon I will hit the phones again in the hopes of finding some individuals to meet with this week and pray together about their support of InterVarsity at SLU. Please be in prayer for both myself and my staff partners (Tammy and Esther) as we all spend the month of June in Fund Development mode. It is so good to have you on my side!

Home For the Summer

Happy June! I'm back in my hometown of Marion, IL typing away at the newly remodeled McDonald's (one of two in Marion), which also happens to be one of the few places in town with Wi-Fi. I think I have been here about every day this week...

It's been good to be home. I have been to my home church a few times, seen the new Terminator movie, and even played some church league softball along the way. This morning I was blessed with the opportunity to send off the Harvest Ministries Summer Team for 2009 before they head to Urbana-Champaign this weekend. I traveled with Harvest's summer worship team in 2007 and had a great time ministering to kids all over the Midwest at summer camps and churches. It was great to be among them again and to bless them as they leave.

The primary reason why I am home for the summer (and why I am seeking your prayer in this blog) is to fund-raise. As you know, the ministry of InterVarsity and its missionaries is supported by the contributions of individuals and churches like you and yours. We each have salaries and ministry budgets that we are kept accountable to fund-raise. The goal for me by the end of this month is to be at somewhere around 65-70% of my target goal of $4500 in monthly donations. I am currently at somewhere around 25%. Please be in prayer this month that God would meet and strengthen me in the process. Pray for open and generous hearts in the friends, family, and churches with which I'll be meeting. Lastly, pray that I would be able to minister to potential supporters even as they consider donating to InterVarsity. It is amazing how God uses these appointments to speak the Truth in love on both sides of the table. Thank you so much for your continued support of the ministry and your love for me. I will be updating to frequently to let you know as progress is being made.

In God's Peace,
KU

Catalyst 2009 - Day Five

Wow what a week it has been. From the worship team to the Catalyst Cup competition to the nine students that SLU brought this week, it's been a little hectic. The worship team has been going pretty well. We had a few issues with folks (including myself) showing up late to meetings and not respecting each other's time, but it has wrapped up beautifully. I am pretty impressed with how far we have come and I am blown away by how God has used the musical experience to build community between the team members. There is nothing like common experience that is bigger than the individuals involved to build community on a team. I have had a lot of fun playing guitar this week and watching 180 college students and staff sing their hearts out to God together.

On Wednesday evening, during the time we are allotted to meet in our campus groups (as opposed to the one large multi-campus group). our nine SLU students were asked to reflect on their experience thus far and share a story of how Jesus had impacted them over the course of the week. I was amazed by the stories that were shared! Each student could trace the specific ways in which Jesus had connected the events of the week to form an intentional and personal message just for them. It was incredible to realize that every single one of them had individually encountered Jesus in a very significant way in just the first few days at Catalyst. All of the sudden, all the stress of the worship team and some of the trainings that I had to do melted away and I was reminded why it is that I felt so compelled by the call to campus ministry in the first place. I love watching God move in the hearts of people that seem so far from Him, watching their eyes light up when they talk about how they felt His presence or heard Him speak to them. It is simply incredible.

Tomorrow is our last morning here at Camp Windermere. Thank you for your prayers this week. Please pray that God would use our last few hours together to continue calling people to mission at SLU and on campuses throughout our region.

Catalyst 2009 - Day One

There is something very surreal about sitting in the midst of an event for which months of planning have come and gone. We are now about 15 hours away from the first students arriving here at Camp Windermere, a beautiful Baptist camp on the Lake of the Ozarks in Central Missouri. Catalyst is the InterVarsity Central Region summer student conference, focusing on processing the year past and visioning for the year to come. It allows our students to unwind from final exams and get one last chance to hang out with friends and staff before heading home for the summer. It also provides a space for students to hear from Jesus regarding areas of sin in their lives, areas where they need to accept His love and lordship, and even areas where He is calling them to follow Him in a deeper or different manner. Catalyst was actually my very first InterVarsity event and one of the places where I first discovered what it meant to love and serve Jesus from within other cultural contexts than the one in which I grew up. Here, students will worship in multiple languages alongside students from various ethnic, geographical, and socio-economic backgrounds as we come together to form a fuller mosaic of the Kingdom of Heaven, as Jesus taught us in the Gospels.

My primary role this week is to serve as co-director of the Catalyst Worship Team. Our team is made up of students from around Saint Louis, myself, and another InterVarsity staff worker. We have rehearsed a handful of times over the past few months and are starting to feel comfortable around each other. It has been great watching the chemistry between band members forming even in the past 24 hours. Please pray that the sound system and all of the technical details come together so that the Team can focus on worshiping God and not on the inevitable glitches, mishaps, and shortcomings that are inherent in being human.

The staff gathered this evening to prepare for the students' arrival and the presence of the Holy Spirit was quite noticeable in the room. This is an amazing group of people - I am humbled to hold be surrounded by some of the staff workers who have had such a monumental impact on my own life. In this very room where I write sits my own staff worker (and now supervisor), a woman whose direction and constant support kept me sane in college and keep me floating through the unpredictable world of college ministry. Also in the room is the first person I heard speak at Catalyst in 2006. I have no idea what he spoke on but I remember that during his message was the first time I ever considered that maybe God was calling me to missionary work at SLU. It is interesting how men pick certain people to hold up as "heroes" or even models to look to when weighing great decisions. We have actually only been around each other a few times but he consistently goes out of his way to speak words of encouragement to me and make me feel important and included in ministry. Please pray that God would bring me students this week who need to be encouraged and included. May the love of Christ flow through our staff team as the students arrive safely tomorrow. I will keep you posted.

The Changing Tide

I have been on the campus of Saint Louis University since the beginning of my freshman year in the Fall of 2005. I joined a small Bible study within the few first weeks of school and ended up parting ways due to involvement in SLU's Student Government Association. While involved with SGA, I became a member of the Social Justice Committee, which sought to plan SGA-sponsored events highlighting various justice and mercy causes around the area and world. I had a very small outlook on the world at the time and the committee was mostly tedious for me.

However, the fruit of God's timing is always remarkable when we are allowed to see it. From above the room in which the SJ Committee met, I could hear the faint sounds of praise and worship music every week. My growing frustration with SGA and simultaneous longing for Christ-centered community led me to turning in my Senate resignation for the Spring of 2006. The first week back from Christmas vacation, I wandered into the mysterious room on the 3rd floor of SLU's Student Center to discover the source of those faint worship sounds. This is where my journey with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship began. In the midst of a good deal of personal turmoil over the course of my freshman year, InterVarsity was my port in the storm. The staff and students involved became some of my closest friends and (now) partners on campus. The next few years would find me becoming more involved in a ministry that took me everywhere from the heart of Saint Louis to the slums of Cairo, Egypt.

I share my story for the sake of testimony to the work of Jesus, both in my life and in the life of SLU. I have been with SLU's IV for a while and I have been blessed to watch it grow. From a handful of students at Fall Conference 06 to 17 in 2008. From 2 students at our Summer leadership retreat in 2008 to the already 9 signed up for Catalyst 2009 with more to come (God-willing). The Kingdom is coming in Midtown - the laborers are being called to the vineyard.

In March, my staff partners and I took 7 students to realHOPE 2009 - a week of evangelism at the University of Missouri - Kansas City. The goal of the week was two-fold: (1) to aid in the process of a new InterVarsity chapter being planted on campus through meeting students, doing conversation evangelism, and praying around the clock; (2) to train students from around the region in evangelism on a campus-wide and interpersonal level so that they could return home to be evangelism leaders on their own campuses. Though evidences of the first objective were many (80 UMKC students interested in joining IV, 15 significant decisions for Christ), the fruit of the second objective would take time to be revealed.

On Friday afternoon, I met with a student from my small group and a friend of hers (from a Hindu background) whom she invited to investigate Jesus for the first time. Opening the Word with a student honestly seeking to understand Jesus was a shot in the arm for me. It is easy to become comfortable going through the motions in ministry - we get into routines of meeting with the same students and planning events for the sake of having events. Evangelism is the cold water on the face of my status quo ministry. realHOPE has given our students and staff the boost that we needed to begin affecting real change on campus at SLU. Before UMKC, I was hard-pressed to find a non-believer among us. In the wake of our return, I am running out of time in my week to meet with the students that SLU leaders meet in their weekly conversations on campus. We are rushing to train new leaders in investigative Bible studies and conversational evangelism. The tide is changing at SLU...we are not satisfied to be a Jesus Bubble anymore. Please pray for us and for the students seeking Jesus that we run into every week. We need you.

"Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field." - Matthew 9:35-38

Welcome!

Hey there! Thanks for stopping in to check out my little prayer blog here on the world wide web. This is the best place to find recent news and prayer requests for the ministry of InterVarsity at Saint Louis University. I'll be posting pictures, financial updates, and probably some long-winded explanations of how God has been working in my life and ministry as of late. Thank you for your prayers - stay tuned to see how God is using them!

Peace,
Kale