Jesus, Sex & Dating: A Recap

"This event was great!! Speakers were on point! I look forward to future events." - First time InterVarsity attendee

"I liked discussing [sex and dating] directly with people in person. I also liked knowing how Jesus fits in to sexual relationships." - Occasional InterVarsity attendee

"It was nice that everyone was so open and willing to speak their minds but also to listen to others without shutting people down or being condescending." - Regular InterVarsity attendee

It's been a fascinating week. Starting last Tuesday, fourteen SLU InterVarsity students and I engaged in eighteen combined hours of evangelism around the topic of Jesus, sex, and dating. We talked to dozens of SLU students on every corner of campus and, as we invited them to join us for our event, we asked them questions about their own understanding of sex in our culture, their advice on dating, and whether or not Jesus had anything to say on the topic. Here's a few examples of what we learned:

• Most of the students we surveyed never had "the sex talk" from their parents growing up.
• According to the students we surveyed, the average person has sex for the first time at age 16.
  
• Only 55% of the students we surveyed think that sex is always a spiritual act.

Even in looking at these few pieces of data, I think you can gather both the necessity and a bit of the magnitude of attempting to make a connection between Jesus, dating, and sex. We heard lots of stories of brokenness from past relationships gone bad, of hurt and abuse from family members, and even of pain from poor handling of the subject by church leaders. We knew that this conversation would be important and we prayed that it would be a place of healing for many for whom sex and dating had only added to the brokenness.

At 6pm on Monday night, my leaders and I gathered to pray and set up the room. At 7pm, students started showing up, trickling in slowly in clusters of 2-3. They were greeted with name tags, themed snack options (Forbidden Fruit Snacks and Name-All-the-Animal Crackers - Genesis 2 shout-out), and friendly conversation from one or more of my students (they're so talented at hospitality!). As we got ready to start the event, we looked around and realized that nearly every one of the 60 chairs we had set up was taken - we estimate that about 55 SLU students were in attendance, making this InterVarsity's biggest campus outreach ever at SLU. The students began the night in table groups that rotated every five minutes, discussing various questions related to the night's topic, including questions like "What do you think about interfaith dating?" and "What is your view of your parents' relationship? Healthy or unhealthy?"

After about twenty-five minutes of table group discussion, my friend Andrea (IV staff at Washington University) and I gave our presentation on how Jesus connects to dating and sex. We talked about how God created humanity to be in relationship with one another, reaching its apex with sexual intimacy in the context of marriage. We talked about how humanity introduced brokenness and sin into the world in our suspicion that God was holding out on us and that we could control our own lives. We shared stories from our past of relationships gone bad. But, we also talked about hope. We talked about the freedom that Jesus came to offer from this cycle of broken relationships. We talked about the woman caught in adultery in John 8 and how we too can leave our baggage at the feet of Jesus, how we too can be healed of this disease that we've inherited.

When we finished, we asked students to respond to the presentation personally on response cards and then in their table groups as well. We rounded out the night with a time of Q&A where the students could submit index cards with specific questions for Andrea and myself. We tacked subjects from physical boundaries in Christian dating to homosexuality to how to find healing from past relationships. Several students stayed after to continue their conversations and ask for prayer from staff and IV leaders.

All in all, it was a fantastic evening - I'm so proud of my leaders for loving their campus so well in the past week, which was one of the most academically rigorous weeks of the semester so far. They had great conversations, invited lots of their friends, and displayed true servant leadership as they welcomed new faces into our community. Next week is our final Edge for the semester and I'll be excited to see who from the event decides to get plugged into our permanent community. Thank you so much for your prayers for our week of evangelism and for my own preparations for the evening - we would not have made it without you! I'll leave you with a few more of my favorite pictures from the evening:

So It's Kind of a Touchy Subject...

A couple of months ago, I sat down with some of my leaders and talked about what kinds of events we wanted to do over the course of the semester. They mentioned offhandedly that it would be great to have an event focused on sex and dating relationships because they had lots of questions and thought their friends would have lots of questions as well. So we put a date on our calendar - November 22nd - and decided that would be our night to talk about sex and dating. Sounds innocent enough, right? Just an InterVarsity staff worker trying to help some students piece together their thoughts on a confusing and sometimes painful subject. No big deal.

Then my mind started going. Wow, sex is a pretty touchy subject, I thought. It's not just Christians who have questions and opinions - everybody has questions and opinions about sex and dating. Wouldn't it be great if we could get lots of people who aren't following Jesus into the room to talk about it as well? Oh wait...what if we could somehow do some evangelistic conversations based on sex and dating and then invite people to come to the event to hear what Jesus thinks? That would be fascinating. How would that work exactly?

Well, we probably would want to gather some hard data about what our campus actually thinks about the subject so we should probably do a survey. But it would be fun if we could also do something that was a bit more of a spectacle to draw attention to the controversial nature of the topic. Then, the image of the poster you see in that picture above came to mind. Oh wow, I thought, wouldn't it be great to make a bunch of these posters and put them up in random gathering places on campus where a few of my students could engage people in conversation? But who would be willing to do that?

Turns out, about 15 of my students would be willing to do that. Their eyes got really big when I told them about my idea, but they signed up all the same. So we held some training and spent some time talking about Jesus and now they are heading out this week to intentionally get themselves into some pretty sensitive conversations about Jesus, Sex & Dating. They're going to ask some tough questions. They're going to tell some tender stories. They're going to talk about the healing they found in Jesus. And they're going to invite people to come to an event where they can find that same healing. Big week, right?

Here's where you come in. We need your prayers. We've never done anything like this before. Would you pray that God sets up fantastic conversations for myself and my students? Would you pray that He opens our eyes to see exactly the right people who need to hear from Him? Would you pray for a staff friend and I as we write a talk that both explains what sex was originally designed for and how Jesus brings healing to the ways we've abused it? Who knows what might happen when that many students dedicate a week of time to engaging people with the Good Story? I'll keep you posted.