Catalyst 2011: A SLU Recap

Every May, InterVarsity students from all over Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, and Missouri (we call it the Central Region) gather at Camp Windermere in Roach, MO for one of two weeks of InterVarsity's end-of-the-year conference, called Catalyst. Students hang out with old friends one more time before summer and make new friends along the way. They spend their days hearing excellent Bible teaching, worshiping in a variety of styles and languages, receiving leadership training to take back to campus next year, and eating lots and lots of camp food. I attended the very first Catalyst ever back in the Spring of my freshman year in college, back in 2006. It was a talk at that Catalyst that eventually led to me joining InterVarsity staff. Needless to say, I love Catalyst and look forward to the experience for my students every year.

This year I had a couple of fun opportunities to serve at Catalyst, besides getting to be with my students who came for the second week of the conference:

The Call
One of my favorite things about my job is getting to be a part of the journey of folks who are investigating Jesus for the first time but would not yet call themselves "Christians." At Catalyst, I had the opportunity to help lead a track designed for students in that very place. We spent four sessions together studying stories about Jesus from John and talking about our own fears, frustrations, and questions about Christianity, Scripture, and Christian people. It was insightful and, at times, challenging, to hear the concerns leveled against the Church and the Bible by these polite, well-spoken college students. They allowed myself and the other staff into their journeys and it was a joy to be with them along the way. We spent the week praying for them and encouraging them and trying to answer their questions to best of our abilities. Praise God! By the end of Catalyst, four of the students from the track made decisions to follow Jesus! It was such a treat to hear them share their testimonies in the main session after walking with them for even a couple of days. What a gift!

Leading Worship
I've devoted a whole blog post to this experience at Catalyst. Feel free to read about it here.

But, my own personal highlight came from spending time with the SLU students. On the third night of the second week, our Regional Director gave a talk about surrendering all of ourselves to Jesus, not just the parts we feel comfortable with. After the session, I noticed that one of the girls from SLU had been crying. I asked her if she wanted to talk and so we sat down together. She told me that she had come to Catalyst hoping to grow closer to God but felt like the opposite had happened. She told me that she had been living a very religious life of attending church regularly and praying daily. When she performed the routine, she felt good about herself and her faith. When she failed to, she despaired and wondered if God still loved her. She told me she'd been crying during the session because she knew that there were parts of herself that she was unwilling to surrender to Jesus. She wanted to follow him and become a Christian but didn't know if she could give up these parts.

We talked about God's unconditional love and the problems with living "religiously," where our performance is what earns our favor with God. We talked about Jesus' sacrifice and how freedom comes from surrendering ourselves wholly to him, not from being "good enough." After an hour or so of conversation, she decided that she was willing to make the leap and trust Jesus with her life. We prayed together and she gave her life to Jesus! She was so excited that she couldn't wait to share her story with the rest of the SLU chapter. The next night, she stood in front of fourteen new brothers and sisters and shared her painful journey to Jesus. After she finished, the students clapped and gave her a group hug. They prayed for her and praised our God for his saving work in her life. I'm guessing you can see why this was my favorite moment from Catalyst.

Praise God it's been a big year. It was difficult at lots of points but always sustained by Jesus. Thank you so much for your prayers and constant encouragement. I am so excited to continue partnering with you in reaching all of Saint Louis University with the life-changing, hope-bringing, joy-filling Gospel of Jesus. Thanks again from all of us at SLU InterVarsity!

Catalyst 2011: Worship-Leading and Me

I play guitar. I've been playing since I was about 16. I started writing lyrics around age 14 because I thought girls were attracted to songwriters. At 16, I became convinced that I could increase the attraction if I could actually play and sing the songs myself. I bought John Mayer's Room for Squares album and started writing songs like his, thinking that his charisma and appeal could be transferred by osmosis to me. This had mixed results at best.

Then this funny thing happened. I was part of the youth group at my church and, as happens to lots of Christians who happen to also be musicians, I was asked to lead worship for the youth group. As a teenage boy with a strong-though-subtle arrogant streak, I of course accepted any opportunity to be on stage holding my guitar (where all the girls could see me). I played in the praise band with some friends for a couple of years at the youth service and had a blast. I didn't know the first thing about leading people in worship but I loved playing music and serving the youth group.

Flash forward to college. I started writing more seriously and fell in love with the artistic process of communicating my story and perspective through words and music in making a connection with other people. I even put together a band and recorded an album of my songs. We started playing a lot in coffeeshops, churches, and restaurants around Saint Louis. Along the way, another funny thing happened. I became really disinterested in the idea of leading worship and even a little frustrated with "worship music" in general. C.S. Lewis once said that music in churches sounded to him like "fourth-rate poetry set to fifth-rate music" and I agreed. As my own musicianship deepened, I became annoyed by the predictable and seemingly shallow lyrics (note again the arrogance) that I was singing in church. When people would ask me to be on worship teams, I refused. I didn't connect with the music I heard in church and didn't think it was fair to lead people in singing songs I disliked and couldn't relate to. I still loved the sermons and community I found at church but mostly just tuned out during the worship.

Then, the last funny thing happened. I came on staff with InterVarsity. One of the values we have in InterVarsity is multi-ethnicity, which basically means that we believe that God's Kingdom is made up of people from across all times, places, tribes, cultures, languages, and musical styles. As I started going to staff gatherings, my "worship walls" came tumbling down. I sang incredible Latin songs with Spanish lyrics and complicated rhythms. I sang Gospel music with amazing dynamics and complex chord structures. I sang old hymns with beautiful poetry and equally rich theology. I saw worship leaders who were listening to the Spirit and actually leading people and not just leading music. My heart started to soften to the idea of worship music and to worship-leading in general. God was changing me.

The past couple years, I have had the opportunity to lead worship at a few different InterVarsity conferences for staff and students and I have fallen in love with it. At our recent student conference, Catalyst 2011, I was blessed with the opportunity of putting together two different teams of staff and student worship leaders. We met and practiced and became friends over the course of the semester. We learned each other's strengths and weaknesses and built chemistry as a team of musicians. But, more importantly, we worshiped together. We let the Spirit move in our practices and got ready to do the same at the conference. It was a beautiful thing. For the first time, I felt like I could hear the Spirit speaking to me while I was leading the music. I could sense when we needed to keep repeating a chorus or when I needed to say something to the worshipers that I felt like God wanted them to know. In a sense, it wasn't that different than having coffee with one of my students. I listened to Jesus and expected him to say something that they needed to hear when they needed to hear it.

As I grow as a worship-leader, the most important thing I'm growing in is hearing from Jesus. Musicianship and arranging will come with practice. Hearing from Jesus is a gift he gives when we actually stop to listen. We hear his voice as we stop talking and worrying about what people are thinking. I'm grateful for the gift and the Giver.